DVD Review: Negotiating Conflict: Leadership in Times of Crisis (Inner Strength Films)

by Anthony Robbins and Cloe Madanes
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Negotiating Conflict is part of the Tony Robbins Inner Strength Films with psychotherapist Cloe Madanes in which Tony coaches members of the audience to break free of their fears and take control of their lives.

This particular film was especially powerful because it took place during a 2 day leadership conference in Hawaii on 9/11/2001. The conference brought together 2000 individuals from about 40 different countries (including 100 New Yorkers) and everyone had different reactions to what had happened around 3am Hawaii time. Some were crying. Some had lost loved ones or businesses in the attack. Some saw it as no big deal - as this type of thing happens in their country all the time. Some were celebrating, calling the attack “retribution”. Others were fighting amongst themselves.

Tony had considered canceling the day’s events but instead chose to support those who needed it while addressing different reactions and trying to defuse destructive emotions. He focused on the topic of emotional mastery and how each audience member had the ability to choose how they reacted to the day’s events - specifically, how they answered the following questions: Who needs help? What should be done right now? What’s in my control? What can I do right now?

Initially, Tony worked with the entire audience, asking members to share how they were feeling. One woman revealed how she had been uncertain about whether she wanted to marry her fiancé. After the first day at the conference, she left her fiancé a voicemail saying she was now committed to marrying him. He got the voicemail at work - on the 101 floor of one of the towers - and contacted her to say goodbye. Incredibly, though the woman was extremely sad, she learned how important it was to live life fully and offered a message of hope.

After hearing from various audience members, Tony turned his focus to a smaller group of New Yorkers and showed how their reaction to the day’s events mirrored how they reacted to other events in their lives. One woman ran a hospital department and was overcome with guilt that she wasn’t in NY helping out. Another woman who was filled with anger only saw a bleak future and couldn’t see how any good or hope could come out of it. A third woman could only mourn after she called everyone she knew to make sure they were safe. Tony showed how their reactions to this time of crisis mimic how they react to lesser events.

Finally, Tony worked one on one with two men: Asad, a Muslim, and Bernie, a NY Orthodox Jew. The process was designed to set up indirect negotiation between two people of opposing views, so as one would talk directly to Tony, the other would observe him and write down exactly what he said. Then, their roles were switched. Tony reframed their questions from how to solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to internal questions they could control. He asked each why this issue was important to them and how they could resolve the conflict internally.

As Tony coached audience members through the difficult day, Cloe explained Tony’s intervention and negotiation methodologies and offered tips for how viewers could use these methodologies in their own lives.

This is a great video for leaders who find themselves in the middle of dueling world views or need to take a leadership role during a tragic event (ie a natural disaster) or shocking news (ie sudden death of a loved one, a business crisis). Tony’s strategies help individuals to defuse destructive emotions like blame, anger and hopelessness by focusing on the issues within their control - specifically, their emotional reactions, what the issue means to them, personally, and what they can do to make a difference. In Asad and Bernie’s case, the two created an organization to help Jews and Muslims understand one anther and make peace rather than violence.

The dvd comes with a downloadable 29 page workbook that serves as a reflection for how you’ve handled shocking news in the past and can act as an action plan for leaders in time of crisis or conflict.

Check out Anthony Robbins’ Inner Strength Films!