8
May

Top 5 Ways To Stop Being a Perfectionist

Posted by Harmony Rousseau

Perfectionism can be debilitating. It keeps us in a state of high anxiety, worrying over how we’ll never live up to someone else’s expectations (or even our own), that we’ll be found out to be a fraud, or that we’ll never recover if we make a mistake.

Perfectionism prevents us from getting things done – and enjoying ourselves as we complete our tasks. Here are my top five ways to break the cycle of worrying and start enjoying life.

1) Set realistic expectations – Have you ever started a project only to realize a little while into it that you’ve bitten off more than you could chew? Before starting your next project, ask yourself whether your goal or expectation is reasonable. Could someone else in your shoes hope to accomplish it? If not, break it down into something more manageable. You can always increase the scope of the project later when you have more time and resources to devote. For now, focus on the next mission critical step and devote your attention solely to this phase until it’s completed. Then, you can tackle phase 2.

2) Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished – When you set goals, it’s easy to focus on the fact that you have not yet achieved them. Instead, focus on all the mini-accomplishments and milestones you have accomplished on your path to achieving your goals. Success is a journey, not a destination.

3) Accept that mistakes are part of the journey – No matter what you set out to achieve, you’ll find that there were always things you could have done better. Instead of dwelling on could-have-beens and should-have-beens, learn from them and move on. Mistakes are opportunities for personal growth.

4) If you’re stuck, seek help – No one but you expects you to know all the answers. The best athletes have coaches and the best business minds have mastermind groups precisely for this reason. Sometimes you’re too close to the problem and need an outsider’s perspective to help you take a step back.

5) Focus on the present – Too often, we spend our time worrying about past things we can’t change or future things that will never happen. Instead, focus on the present moment. How can you make what you need to do enjoyable now? What would make you feel good in this moment? Perhaps it’s visualizing how you’ll feel when the project is done or knowing how your work will have helped someone else.

As a friend of mine likes to say, “Good is great but done is better.” The trick is to get out of your head and take action towards completing your task or goal. Action leads to feedback and new perspectives. And you’ll often find that it wasn’t as bad as you thought and that 99% of what you worried might happen didn’t.

What are your best ways to silence your inner critic? Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments below.

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Category : Psychology / Success


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Comments

alamster May 9, 2007

agree,

passion to achieve the goal and fear to fail make perfectionist born :-)

Joanna Young May 9, 2007

Hi, nice post thanks.

I try asking myself “what would I say to someone else in this situation?”

(I am always much more constructive, helpful, kind, empathetic etc to other people than I am to myself) I find this question helps to soften if not silence the inner critic

Joanna

Tantowi May 9, 2007

Agree with those list. No.5, just do your best today, it works for me.

Karlo Licudine May 9, 2007

I consider myself as a mild perfectionist. Why mild? Is because I have somehow overcomed half of this with the help of some basic self-help books that I have read.

There were times that my perfectionist attitude tend to get in the way of work. Especially on dead lines. Most of the time, I feel that I am not satisfied of my work which is why I still try to perfect it.

Thanks for your post.

If you have time, why don’t you drop by my post:
http://mobileko.blogspot.com/2007/05/snatch-top-5-tips-on-how-to-be.html

It’s also an entry for the problogger top 5- group writing project. ^^ Goodluck to us all!

Ali May 9, 2007

“Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished”

I always do, even if its a little itty bitty here and there. It all helps in the end.

Check out my group project blog post as well.

Briana May 9, 2007

This is a cool article. I’m a total perfectionist and these tips are an interesting approach. My instinct though is always not to STOP being a perfectionist, but to become a more PERFECT perfectionist, ha ha.

Cool concept for an article though!

Shawn May 9, 2007

Very nice! I especially like the section about mistakes. Rick Warren, lead pastor of Saddleback Church, says he expects his staff to make *at least* one new mistake a week. Note the *new* there. If they’re not making mistakes, they’re not forging into new territory. It’s when they make the same ones over and over that there might be an issue.

Groovy post!

Carolyn May 9, 2007

My perfectionism can be quite debilitating. I won’t attempt something that I know I would enjoy because I’m so crippled by my fear of failure, or looking stupid, or self-doubt. However, I really like #2. I will try and give myself more credit for my accomplishments as I’m trying to reach a goal. That sounds like it would really help me to trust myself and have more fun. Thanks for a great post!

Anne Glamore May 10, 2007

The more children you have, the less anal you can afford to be. But I’ll let you read about that at my 5 things… (I’ll just say it involves bras and crawfish in the same post)

Danny Kang May 11, 2007

Well, I never try to be perfectionist.
Your 5 steps looks good and come to think of it, I do have those 5 steps in way of life.

shawn May 15, 2007

Linking to you … great list!

Shonnie Lavender May 16, 2007

Great post Krista! As a recovering perfectionist, I can certainly relate to your post. I’ve written a couple of posts about perfectionism too — How to tame your inner critic and Is perfectionism your prison or your past?. My submission to the Group Writing Project is 5 essential skills for blogging success. Now, I’m done, which, as your friend says is better than “great.” :-)

Mary Jane Brant July 28, 2008

My Irish Catholic background programmed me for perfectionistic thinking but it’s exhausting. I am in recovery! Thanks for a great article. My friends call me MJ.
Bryn Mawr, PA

anonymous February 19, 2009

I’m an extreme perfectionist, to the point that I scream when I get 99% out of something (especially when it’s 99%..)
And it’s not until today that I truly understand what #3 is all about..

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