Top 5 Ways To Stop Being a Perfectionist
Perfectionism can be debilitating. It keeps us in a state of high anxiety, worrying over how we’ll never live up to someone else’s expectations (or even our own), that we’ll be found out to be a fraud, or that we’ll never recover if we make a mistake.
Perfectionism prevents us from getting things done - and enjoying ourselves as we complete our tasks. Here are my top five ways to break the cycle of worrying and start enjoying life.
1) Set realistic expectations - Have you ever started a project only to realize a little while into it that you’ve bitten off more than you could chew? Before starting your next project, ask yourself whether your goal or expectation is reasonable. Could someone else in your shoes hope to accomplish it? If not, break it down into something more manageable. You can always increase the scope of the project later when you have more time and resources to devote. For now, focus on the next mission critical step and devote your attention solely to this phase until it’s completed. Then, you can tackle phase 2.
2) Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished - When you set goals, it’s easy to focus on the fact that you have not yet achieved them. Instead, focus on all the mini-accomplishments and milestones you have accomplished on your path to achieving your goals. Success is a journey, not a destination.
3) Accept that mistakes are part of the journey - No matter what you set out to achieve, you’ll find that there were always things you could have done better. Instead of dwelling on could-have-beens and should-have-beens, learn from them and move on. Mistakes are opportunities for personal growth.
4) If you’re stuck, seek help - No one but you expects you to know all the answers. The best athletes have coaches and the best business minds have mastermind groups precisely for this reason. Sometimes you’re too close to the problem and need an outsider’s perspective to help you take a step back.
5) Focus on the present - Too often, we spend our time worrying about past things we can’t change or future things that will never happen. Instead, focus on the present moment. How can you make what you need to do enjoyable now? What would make you feel good in this moment? Perhaps it’s visualizing how you’ll feel when the project is done or knowing how your work will have helped someone else.
As a friend of mine likes to say, “Good is great but done is better.” The trick is to get out of your head and take action towards completing your task or goal. Action leads to feedback and new perspectives. And you’ll often find that it wasn’t as bad as you thought and that 99% of what you worried might happen didn’t.
What are your best ways to silence your inner critic? Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments below.
alamster said,
May 9, 2007 @ 4:29 amagree,
passion to achieve the goal and fear to fail make perfectionist born 
Joanna Young said,
May 9, 2007 @ 4:56 amHi, nice post thanks.
I try asking myself “what would I say to someone else in this situation?”
(I am always much more constructive, helpful, kind, empathetic etc to other people than I am to myself) I find this question helps to soften if not silence the inner critic
Joanna
Tantowi said,
May 9, 2007 @ 4:59 amAgree with those list. No.5, just do your best today, it works for me.
Karlo Licudine said,
May 9, 2007 @ 6:03 amI consider myself as a mild perfectionist. Why mild? Is because I have somehow overcomed half of this with the help of some basic self-help books that I have read.
There were times that my perfectionist attitude tend to get in the way of work. Especially on dead lines. Most of the time, I feel that I am not satisfied of my work which is why I still try to perfect it.
Thanks for your post.
If you have time, why don’t you drop by my post:
http://mobileko.blogspot.com/2007/05/snatch-top-5-tips-on-how-to-be.html
It’s also an entry for the problogger top 5- group writing project. ^^ Goodluck to us all!
Ali said,
May 9, 2007 @ 7:04 am“Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished”
I always do, even if its a little itty bitty here and there. It all helps in the end.
Check out my group project blog post as well.
Top Five List For Those Who Dont Know Abt It… at Technix Update said,
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Briana said,
May 9, 2007 @ 7:47 amThis is a cool article. I’m a total perfectionist and these tips are an interesting approach. My instinct though is always not to STOP being a perfectionist, but to become a more PERFECT perfectionist, ha ha.
Cool concept for an article though!
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Shawn said,
May 9, 2007 @ 8:00 pmVery nice! I especially like the section about mistakes. Rick Warren, lead pastor of Saddleback Church, says he expects his staff to make *at least* one new mistake a week. Note the *new* there. If they’re not making mistakes, they’re not forging into new territory. It’s when they make the same ones over and over that there might be an issue.
Groovy post!
Carolyn said,
May 9, 2007 @ 11:11 pmMy perfectionism can be quite debilitating. I won’t attempt something that I know I would enjoy because I’m so crippled by my fear of failure, or looking stupid, or self-doubt. However, I really like #2. I will try and give myself more credit for my accomplishments as I’m trying to reach a goal. That sounds like it would really help me to trust myself and have more fun. Thanks for a great post!
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Danny Kang said,
May 11, 2007 @ 9:27 amWell, I never try to be perfectionist.
Your 5 steps looks good and come to think of it, I do have those 5 steps in way of life.
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Shonnie Lavender said,
May 16, 2007 @ 3:50 pmGreat post Krista! As a recovering perfectionist, I can certainly relate to your post. I’ve written a couple of posts about perfectionism too — How to tame your inner critic and Is perfectionism your prison or your past?. My submission to the Group Writing Project is 5 essential skills for blogging success. Now, I’m done, which, as your friend says is better than “great.”
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