Book Review: Goal Free Living
Author: Stephen Shapiro
Publisher: John Wiley and Sons
Year Published: 2006
Rating: 
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Do you often find yourself saying ‘I’ll be happy when…’? Are you working towards some point in the future – when you get that next promotion, or pay off the house, or find that special someone? If so, perhaps it’s time to forget your goals and start living the life you want now.
Sounds silly, right? Virtually all personal development gurus state that the way to success is to figure out what you want and create a step by step action plan to getting from point A to your final destination.
Stephen Shapiro thinks differently. In his new book, Goal Free Living, he talks about the dark side of goal setting. Often, we are so caught up in achieving the American Dream – being wealthy, successful in our jobs and relationships, living in that beautiful house with perfect kids, and so on. The problem with this is that usually, this isn’t our real dream. It’s what we think we should want or what others want for us. It’s how our society defines success.
Goal Free Living is about living for you and your passions. It’s not about how your mother keeps asking when you’ll settle down and have grand kids. It’s not about proving how successful you are by the size of your house, the number of belongings you have, or the kind of car you drive. And it’s not about spending 100+ hours in the office working your butt off in hopes of getting that next promotion. It’s about looking deep within yourself and asking ‘what am I truly passionate about?’
Shapiro didn’t always think this way. His first book, 24/7 Innovation, was geared towards corporate America. This book was supposed to be a follow up on how corporations can tap into creativity to get ahead. All that changed when Shapiro decided to take a road trip to collect his thoughts and write his book. That simple road trip soon became a 12,000 mile journey leading him to interview 150 creative types in 90 days.
By reflecting on these interviews, Shapiro uncovered 8 secrets to success. They are:
1. Use a compass instead of a map
Goal free living isn’t about living an aimless life where you watch tv all day or act irresponsibly. It’s about figuring out what you are passionate about and letting that guide you. Instead of concrete goals, you have ideas – aspirations – of what you might like to do, but instead of planning out every step, you talk to people, try new things, and take advantage of opportunities that come up.
2. Trust that you are never lost
Many people are afraid to make big decisions because they fear making a mistake. They see life as a long stretch of highway with only a handful of exits, so they overanalyze whether they should get off now or ride out those next 500 miles before the next exit. Instead, goal free living is about changing your mindset to see many roads running parallel, perpendicular and diagonal. If you try something that you don’t like, you just hop on a new road and keep going.
3. Remember that opportunity knocks often, but sometimes softly
When we’re focused on something, we tend to only see stuff that’s relevant to what we’re focused on. In other words, we overlook a lot of opportunities that may take us in new directions. When we’re goal free, our eyes are open to these new opportunities.
4. Want what you have
Our society dictates that we should always want more – that new tv, a sporty car, a bigger horse, etc. We look around us and see others that have what we don’t, and we can’t help but compare ourselves to them. With goal free living, life isn’t about making comparisons but about being happy now with who we are and what we have.
5. Seek out adventure
Often, we get stuck in routines and tend to shy away from things outside our comfort zone. But maybe if we were to try those things, we’d realize how much we liked them. Try something new today. You might be surprised with what you find.
6. Become a people magnet
Many people have a specific circle of friends, coworkers and peers they hang with. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, but it does limit the kinds of opportunities you can create for yourself. If you assume that everyone can help you achieve your aspirations, you’ll find new opportunities and connections popping up everywhere.
7. Embrace your limits
We all have inadequacies, and most times, we spend a lot of time and effort trying to hide them from others who might find us out. Instead, by addressing them, we grow as people and can even turn these disadvantages into advantages.
8. Remain detached
By having goals, we put ourselves under the microscope and are constantly analyzing our actions. If we don’t achieve what we set out to do, we feel like we’ve failed. With goal free living, there’s no way to fail. Sure, we have aspirations that we’d like to achieve, but we’re ok if that never happens in the way we expect. Instead, we live for today, making sure we enjoy each moment.
Goal Free Living is a lot like Joe Vitale’s Attractor Factor without the spiritual component. The stories Shapiro provides are inspirational and the philosophy behind it can be a breath of fresh air for those who feel aspects of their life are inadequate because they’re so focused on where they want to be in the future. That said, Goal Free Living isn’t for everyone. If goals work for you and you can honestly say that you’re happy with your life at this exact moment, then you probably don’t need this book.
Personally, I’ve never been much of a goal setter. When I’m interested in something, I’ll often create a plan of action, but rarely do I follow through with each step I’ve outlined. The act of writing helps me clarify what I want and gives me one path which I think will lead to success, but I’ve come to realize that there are many paths. Many times, the ones I haven’t thought of end up being the most fulfilling.
I think that’s what Shapiro is saying here. We can’t know ahead of time which opportunities are going to be the most fulfilling, so we have these grand aspirations to guide us. We do what we love and enjoy today for what it is and trust that the future will take care of itself. This isn’t about giving up responsibility and living a hedonistic life. It’s about trying new things, opening yourself up to new possibilities, and letting things happen.
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